In School and Life – Effort Counts!

What are the characteristics that help children succeed in school? This is a question on many parents’ minds as this time of year rolls around. Parents want to support and motivate their kids, but often they are not sure how. This can lead to grueling homework battles and power struggles. Some parents think if they tell their children they are smart, that will give them the self-confidence to succeed. Others pay their kids for good grades, and others throw up their hands, not knowing what to do.

Psychologist Angela Duckworth, winner of the McArthur Genius Grant, has studied the question of who is successful and why, and her work offers clues for parents gearing up for the school year. Duckworth, while working as a middle school teacher, noticed that her students who were the most successful were not necessarily the most talented or those with the highest I.Q.s. There was another ingredient that made the difference. After much study, Duckworth has identified the number one characteristic that predicts success in children, as well as adults. Ready? Here it is…grit! What does she mean by grit? She describes grit as a combination of perseverance, passion, and stamina—the willingness to work hard and not give up. Grit—this is something that we can all encourage in our children and develop in ourselves.
This research is consistent with Duckworth’s other findings that self-control plays a big part in goal achievement. Helping children master their impulses and not shoot a spit wad or kick the chair in front of them, and instead quiet themselves down and focus on learning, makes a huge difference in their ability to succeed in the classroom. Self-control is enhanced when parents offer a safe and predictable home environment, loving connections and consistent boundaries. Parenting classes can help any parent bolster their own parenting grit!

Psychologist Carol Dweck of Stanford also has research shedding light on how to help kids. Her concept, Growth Mindset, is the understanding that the ability to learn is not fixed. She says that kids who know this understand that if they work harder, they will most likely perform better. Kids that think their intelligence is a fixed trait are less likely to bother. They are more inclined to give up when the going gets tough and less likely to take on learning challenges. The take away message here is to help kids see that effort counts. If we tell kids, “You’re so smart,” this does not help them understand their Growth Mindset. If we say, “You really stuck with that and you made it through!”—that helps them realize about the power of their efforts.

We experience deepest joy and soaring pride, as parents. There are also plenty of instances when we need to dig down and rely on our own grit when times are tough. Cultivating qualities of persistence, passion, and stamina in ourselves and our children, is a win win.

This article was originally printed in the Summer 2014 issue of the Parents’ Resource Guide.