Nurturing Thankfulness in Children
Most parents want to give their children the moon. They work hard to provide their kids with a good life, and they don’t want them to feel deprived. Plus, it’s so fun to see children light up with joy when receiving a new toy or gadget. On the other hand, sometimes parents can give and give, and children don’t seem to value what they receive. This can make parents feel resentful and confused. It brings up the question, how do we nurture thankfulness in children?
One good rule of thumb is that children are likely to follow in their parents’ footsteps regarding thankfulness. This gives parents the chance to model an attitude of gratitude for their children to follow. For example, from the time children are very young, parents can say “please” and “thank you” to the children and each other. As children learn to speak, they will catch on because this is what the rest of the family is doing. Other ways to model are talking about what you are grateful for, saying grace, or lighting a candle of thankfulness.
Another way to help children value what they have is not to go overboard on gift giving. Sometimes simplicity at holidays is best. The quality of the occasion does not improve with the amount of stuff. If everyone is relaxed and enjoying themselves and each other, that is most important. We can show our children where true happiness comes from, and it sure doesn’t come from the mall.
Crafting thank you cards to friends and family can show children that it is important to take the time and energy to say “thanks.” Let it be a fun and engaging time together. For those that are too young to write, you can start out the thanking tradition with little ones drawing a “thank- you-picture” to add to your note to Grandma.
You can also choose a book now and then to share with your child about being thankful. I have included a few titles that you can check out at the library: Biscuit is Thankful, Capucilli & Stories; Giving Thanks: A Native American Good Morning Message, Swamp; All the Places to Love, MacLachlan. What others can you find?
One lovely tradition that I learned about is creating a Thanksgiving centerpiece that the family participates in all month long. Have the family take a walk in the woods and choose a beautiful Manzanita branch. Then cut out leaves for the branch from Autumn-colored construction paper. Every evening at dinnertime, family members write down something they are thankful for on a leaf and attach it to the Manzanita. On Thanksgiving Day, the family can read all that they are thankful for as a part of the holiday tradition.
I recently got a message from my daughter that said, “Just watched the movie, Beaches. It made me cry my eyes out. Thanks for all you do, Mom.” I must admit, as she was growing up, sometimes the thankful attitude went missing for a while. Those moments of gratitude from children can seem few and far between. Just know, if you are planting the seeds of thankfulness, they are likely to sprout and flourish over time with your intentional nurturing.
Meg Luce is a Marriage and Family Therapist with a private practice in Grass Valley and is a facilitator of Triple P Parenting and Circle of Security Parenting©. For more information, visit www.nevadacountytherapist.com
This article was first published in Northern Gold Country Parents’ Resource Guide – for more from them, click here
